Cheers and Jeers: Monday

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“When evil men plot, good men must plan. When evil men burn and bomb, good men must build and bind. When evil men shout ugly words of hatred, good men must commit themselves to the glories of love. Where evil men would seek to perpetuate an unjust status quo, good men must seek to bring a real order of justice.”

July 2 1964. President Lyndon Baines Johnson presents Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. with one of the pens used to sign the Civil Rights Act
With LBJ at the signing of the Civil Rights Act of 1964

“Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.”

And this seems particularly relevant now:

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As fate would have it, King and I coexisted on this tiny blue speck in the middle of nowhere, if only for three-and-a-half years. The older I get the cooler that fact gets. So I’m retroactively putting it on my bucket list. Sue me.

And now, our feature presentation…

Cheers and Jeers for Monday, January 17, 2022

Note: Full moon tonight. Get yer butt out in the back yard, look up, think of Neil Armstrong and Michael Collins (Buzz is thankfully still with us), and give it a wink.  Please wear a mask, as we now know that omicron can survive a trip to the moon.  —Mgt.

By the Numbers:

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62 days!!!

Days ’til spring: 62

Days ’til ballots go out to Amazon workers in Bessemer, Alabama for a re-vote on whether or not to unionize: 18

Average amount Americans spent on groceries per week in 2020 and 2021, respectively: $161 / $144

Number of people killed by police in 2021 in Canada, Germany, France, Japan, the UK, and Italy, with a combined population 437 million people: 78

Number of people killed in 2021 by police in our country of 330 million people: 1,136

Amount of student loans (66,000 total) canceled by Navient in the wake of a lawsuit settlement over deceptive and abusive practices with 39 states and the District of Columbia: $1.8 billion

Year during which Ben Franklin, whose birthday is today, became the first Postmaster General: 1775

Puppy Pic of the Day: Happy Monday

CHEERS to busting baddies better. Al Qaeda attacked the United States in 2001, hoping to destabilize us and cause precisely the kind of domestic hysteria and disarray that led to the Republican meltdown in a puddle of xenophobia and racism. In the ensuing 20 years, the terrorists from abroad haven’t needed to strike again because the wingnuts’ arc of the universe now bends—with full look-the-other-way approval of their leaders—toward killing fellow Americans they disagree with. In other words: we have met the enemy and they is us. How nice of D.C.’s men and women in fedoras to notice:

The Justice Department will launch a new unit centered on tackling the rising challenge of domestic terrorism, the agency’s top national security official revealed Tuesday, appearing before Congress just days after the one-year anniversary of the January 6 assault on the U.S. Capitol.

Proud Boys leader Joe Biggs
Uh…maybe start with this guy?

“The threat posed by domestic terrorism is on the rise,” Assistant Attorney General Matthew Olsen told the Senate Judiciary Committee. “The number of FBI investigations of suspected violent extremists has more than doubled since the spring of 2020.” […] U.S. law defines domestic terrorism as violence intended to coerce or intimidate either a civilian population or government policy.

Assistant Attorney General Matthew Olsen says they’ll follow all available leads to track them down: video, audio, social media, documents…but mostly the stench.

JEERS to blue toes in the night. File this under “when supply chain issues hit home.” Friday night, with wind chills in the sub-zero double digits outside, we had to abruptly leave our C&J splashing when the room starting getting chilly and we discovered that the furnace was—oh, what’s the technical term?—busted. Specifically, leaking water from the boiler. After leaving a message with the landlord, we hunkered down under sweatshirts and Snuggies for a mostly-sleepless night of watching the temperature in the house steadily drop like the decks on the Titanic while making sure the pipes didn’t freeze. (The cat got fed up and took her private jet to the nearest Ritz-Carlton.)

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BillyFact rates this claim: True.

The next morning, with the house in the low 50s (higher than I would’ve expected), our landlord and his furnace guy were able to patch it up and it’s working fine now. The bad news: we need a new unit. But supply chain issues mean boilers like ours—relatively young at 11—are so hard to get that there’s a waiting list for people to put their name on the waiting list. So, being Eagle Scouts, Michael and I are now preparing for the worst (a total meltdown of our furnace’s nuclear fuel rods) using our two-step emergency plan: 1) Spend our days rubbing sticks together and storing the heat in large oak barrels, but only if step 2) Break into neighbor’s basement and steal furnace, fails.

JEERS to turning a deaf ear. On this date 61 years ago, during his farewell address in 1961, President Eisenhower warned us all against the rise of the “military-industrial complex.”  (Although we’re quick to point out that Ike himself helped contribute to it, so his hands aren’t exactly clean. But, hey, c’mon—he did D-Day.)  Every year, as his warning appears ever more prescient, this speech ranks right up there with Lincoln‘s Gettysburg Address or FDR’s Four Freedoms speech:

“In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex.

A somewhat typical newspaper headline from back in the day.
A farewell speech that resonates more profoundly every year.

We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.”

Let’s see how that’s working out: We did let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties and democratic processes. We did take it for granted. And we the ignorant and apathetic citizenry did not compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty are now fighting like rabid dogs. Other than that…Thumbs-up!

BRIEF SANITY BREAK

END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

JEERS to yesteryear’s sleazebag. On January 17, 1997, then-Speaker Newt Gingrich—the guy who promised to clean up Washington—accepted a reprimand by the House that included a$300,000 penalty as punishment for ethics violations.  Four days later the House voted 395-28 to discipline its leader for ethical misconduct.  If memory serves, the sun was shining and the birds were singing that day.

JEERS to today’s edition of One Way Or Another, Mother Earth Is Gonna Get Us. Courtesy of the island of Tonga:

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This has been today’s edition of One Way Or Another, Mother Earth Is Gonna Get Us.

Ten years ago in C&J: January 17, 2012

JEERS to foot-in-mouth disease. Before I forget, let me add this classic quip from Rick Santorum to the salt-lined C&J vault for proper storage: at a campaign stop late last week, the walking Google disaster told voters that if Mitt Romney becomes president he’ll be—[Wink Wink!]—“just a paler shade of what we have.” (Hint: the current president is a scary b-l-a-c-k man.) Meanwhile, the cranky conservative evangelical village elders have decided that their official choice to be the NotMittRomney is the palest of the pale: Rick Santorum. But only because Attila the Hun wouldn’t return their calls.

And just one more…

CHEERS to America’s favorite “Girl from the South Side.”  Michelle Obama (who you can follow on twitter here) was the tenth First Lady whose iron-fisted regime I’ve lived under. During her eight way-too-fast years in that official capacity, she was an amazing role model—not only in terms of her grace and humor and intelligence and optimism and down-to-earth authenticity and… (I’ll stop there for space reasons—my list of her pluses is 12 pages long, single spaced), but also for throwing open the doors of the White House and making it feel more like the “People’s House” than any time I can remember. (Under her icy successor it felt more like 1945 Berlin.) Today is Michelle’s frrfrrfrth birthday, and that’s all the reason I need to post these…

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First Lady Michelle Obama with daughters Malia and Sasha sled in the snow on the South Lawn of the White House 3/2/09. .Official White House Photo by Pete Souza
First Lady Michelle Obama joins children for a group photo during a visit to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2014. (Official White House Photo by Amanda Lucidon)

I know there’s no job description or requirements for the role of presidential spouse, but I think it’s fair to say that she set the bar just about as high as it can go. She rocked it. So, in conclusion: Happy happy happy (I’ll stop there for space reasons—my list of happys is also 12 pages long) birthday, Michelle, and many blessings on your camels.

P.S. I don’t care what fate says, in my book she made it to 100:

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So there.

Have a tolerable Monday. Floor’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about today?

Today’s Shameless C&J Testimonial

“In the early days of Cheers and Jeers, there were times when CNN would quite literally, for 15 or 20minutes, have live video of an empty kiddie pool because they were awaiting the arrival of Bill in Portland Maine‘s tricycle.”

Ted Koppel





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