Wisconsin Republicans want to make it easier for teens to tote guns onto school grounds. Yes, really



The series of bills proposed by Wisconsin lawmakers includes Assembly Bill 498, which would lower the minimum age for getting a concealed-carry permit from 21 to 18; Assembly Bill 495, which would allow concealed-carry permit holders to bring guns onto school grounds in their vehicles; Assembly Bill 597, which would permit concealed guns in churches that are located on private school grounds; Assembly Bill 518, which would require Wisconsin to recognize other states’ concealed-carry permits; and Assembly Bill 843, which would force the state’s Department of Public Instruction to write a firearm education curriculum. 

Sure, that’s what the people of Wisconsin are clamoring for. Not a child tax credit, paid parental leave, student loan forgiveness, or a greener economy. They want more guns in churches! Duh!

But once again, there are two sides to this story. See if you can suss out which of the sides is pure and blatant batshittery.

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

Republicans said the measure was needed so those who carry concealed weapons can easily pick up their children from school.

Democrats said the legislation would put children at risk. They said the bill—in conjunction with the one lowering the age to carry concealed weapons—would allow high school seniors to bring guns to school grounds.

Wait, I thought these were concealed-carry permits, not compulsory carry-this-fucking-Glock-everywhere-you-go-or-else certificates. They can’t leave their guns at home when they pick their kids up from fucking school?!?! Really? 

Needless to say, state Democrats are not impressed with these proposals.

“Guns do not belong anywhere in or near schools,” Democratic Rep. Deb Andraca said, according to The Journal Sentinel. “Collectively, what these bills would do, they would allow high school seniors to carry a loaded gun in the car to school grounds [and] at school events.”

Republicans, however, had a slightly different take: “If you’re old enough to fight for your country, [if] you’re old enough to sign contracts, if you’re old enough to decide who the president of the United States is, we think you’re old enough to be responsible with your rights and to be able to protect yourself,” said Republican Rep. Shae Sortwell, who sponsored the bill that would presumably allow 18-year-old high school seniors to breeze through school metal detectors with a shit-eating grin.

For the record, Wisconsin currently has a Democratic governor, so these bonkers bills are unlikely to become law. But once again conservatives have succeeded in moving the Overton window to a midcentury modern ranch house on Mars.

Since Republicans have gerrymandered the state into a cheesy breakfast hash, they’ll likely continue to hold onto their legislative hegemony against the majority population’s express wishes. And once a Republican returns to the governor’s mansion, it will be open season on all these snowflake gun safety laws.

Of course, having lived in Wisconsin for most of my life (before moving several years ago), I can assure you of one thing: Aaron Rodgers isn’t the only state resident who doesn’t know how to shoot straight.

Enjoy your backslide, Badgers. I have a feeling you’re not done with these death cult ghouls just yet.

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